Be a man

https://youtu.be/ZSS5dEeMX64

Society is and has always been trying to define masculinity for us. We're taught from birth that boys wear blue and play with trucks and that never ever should they cry. Boys should be strong, athletic, and "swift as a coursing river". Movies like She's a Man, Mulan, and even High School Musical touch on the ideals of masculinity and the struggles of maintaining gender stereotypes in every kind of situation. The theme can be seen across the board in books, movies, songs, and conversation.

Drown by Junor Diaz also attempts to define masculinity multiple times through the collection. Starting with the first story, "Ysrael", we see Rafa calling Yunior a pussy because he starts crying. Yunior has just been molested on the bus and is shocked, confused, upset, and scared. Yunior apologies for crying and Rafa responds by asking what's wrong with him and by threatening him- "if you can't stop crying, I'll leave you" (13). Later in the story Rafa goes further by saying, "you have to get tougher. Crying all the time. Do you think our papi's crying? Do you think that's what he's been doing the last six years?" (14). Yunior and Rafa have had to live without their father for the past six years and in the mean time Rafa has created his own definition of masculinity, which has been influenced by society. He believes in the alpha-male mentality and that influences how Rafa and Yunior treat Ysrael.

In "Fiesta, 1980" we see interactions between Yunior and his father. Yunior is older than in the first story, but we see that he is still not as "strong" as Rafa. It seems like Yunior's father is extremely frustrated by this and addresses his frustrations by trying to force Yunior to be more manly. He hates that Yunior vomits everytime they get in a car and he takes Yunior on drives, in an attempt to condition him not to vomit anymore. The father "jammed his finger into (Yunior's) cheek" and Yunior writes an essay at school titled "My father is a torturer" (30). We also sees that the father is having an affair, which probably confuses Yunior about the role of a husband.

In the title story "Drown", Yunior is molested again, this time by his good friend and mentor figure, Beto. The first time it happens, Yunior is "terrified" and is torn between wanting to hide from Beto but simultaneously wanting to hangout with him because he was his best friend. After that night, it happens again and then soon after Beto leaves for college. Yunior stays in his hometown, potentially to protect his mother/feel wanted and secure by being with her, which makes it seem like to Yunior, protecting women is important. But Yunior is not confident enough to decide whether he wants to confront/see Beto when he comes back for break or continue to ignore him. This causes him much anxiety and stress and he tries to both run into and ignore Beto. Yunior can't decide if a man should be forgiving and loyal or stand up for himself and cut people off.

These three stories are not the only ones in the collection that address the theme of masculinity. In fact I think each and every story in this collection contains elements of the theme from "How to date a Browngirl, Blackgirl, Whitegirl, or Halfie to "Negocios". I just chose to focus on the stories that stood out to me most and had clear depictions of masculinity or the struggles with abiding to the social norms of masculinity. Please chime in with other examples where masculinity pops up in Drown!